


James potter: The crazy fucker

by Fa616ace, NoviceWriter1888, TheAbsoluteWorst



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Baby Harry Potter, Bad Parenting, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark James Potter, Eventual Smut, Iffy on realness but its there, James Potter Being an Asshole, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow To Update, Stalking, severus also bitch slaps james a few good times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-03-20 16:58:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fa616ace/pseuds/Fa616ace, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoviceWriter1888/pseuds/NoviceWriter1888, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAbsoluteWorst/pseuds/TheAbsoluteWorst
Summary: When Lily tells James she doesn't really want to have kids and ever only went through with pregnancy because Mrs.potter pressured her to she expected him to be on her side. When james expresses his want to keep the child she Grant's it with only their marriage as the fee. After she gives birth to a boy she signed away all her parental rights and said her goodbyes and moves to France.Despite his want for the child James turns out to be a shit father. Through getting laid and working as a Auror he soon begins to neglect his child. With Harry crying all night and James out partying the new attendant of the loft above his is woken in the dead of night.With Severus back in England -after moving to Spain his 5th year- he expects a quiet place to finish another book for his publisher. What he gets it taking care of Potters kid and Potters apparent intrest.No-noncon & expect grammar mistake galore!





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by ao3 @TheAbsoluteWorst
> 
> Also guys I'm not doing this to make Lily look bad even if I do have negative feelings for her I honestly believe that they how they got together was a bad foundation to start on

He should've stayed up long enough to hear her cry that night. He was none the wiser but he had thought everything was dandy and swell. At Least it had been when she confided in him that she wanted a child. Her sweet smile as she sat on his lap looking suggestive. Sure she seemed hesitant when the time for him to finish had come. But they had spent three years-two during their school years- making sure they knew(/performed) the necessary spells to block that.

 

He hadn't expected it so early; no, not with Lily's career aspirations. She wanted to travel and make her own way before a kid could do it for her. She wanted life and James was sure to give it to her. He stood by her even through his parents' less than pleased looks. If she wanted to wait, he would too! They were young 20-year-olds and needed time to sort their life out, time to decide when to get married and when to give another heir to the bloodline.

 

But James's mother had other ideas when it came to that. And she wasn't afraid to make her ideas known to Lily. Although they were never directly aimed at her,  Lily knew when she received a jab.

 

She would receive distasteful looks at any given moment. Most aimed at her appearance, or rather lack of. Like when she had once again shown up to dinner wearing a flowy dress that was tight against her soft, ample stomach. No hardness to her stomach where something should have been enclosed. No added weight to make her sore in her heels or swollen in her ankles and baited in her breath. No, she had shown up once again as Lily Potter and the only thing she carried with her was a purse.

 

“Lillian.. so nice to see you” Lily knew Mrs Potter didn't mean it. Especially as the night went on and less and less kind words made it her way.

 

"Oh, we're quite disappointed no one else could join....When do you two love birds plan to give me a grandchild? I won't stay alive forever!" Mrs Potter would say accompanied by a joyous laugh and a joking tone. But as she made eye contact after each statement Lily knew it was more a threat than a joke. 

 

She often found herself brushing it off and laughing along. Meeting the gaze and smiling because she knew James wouldn't force her, even if  his mother begged him too. They were safe in their own little bubble of understanding. But Lily wasn't as headstrong as she'd like to think. Lily never missed an opportunity to beat herself up anytime someone mentioned something about her being less than desirable. She was gullible and fell victim to her insecurities more often than she didn't. 

 

So what if she finally gave in to make someone who wasn't even herself happy. She just couldn't stand not being liked! Couldn't stand it when she was called dumb for being muggle-born. She had thought that was why she was being ignored and avoided by other students.  Sure, she had later found that they ignored her because of their own bigoted beliefs, but that didn't stop her. So she aimed for high marks all the school year and made herself known as a member of the slug society.

 

When Petunia would ignore her and look down upon her Lily  had sent her money for her first house. She had sent tons of gifts for her newborn nephew. She still wrote every Wednesday to inquire on how she'd been doing.

 

Lily only received one reply that had several nasty words. But it's more than she'd ever had before, so she'd smiled and counted it as a win. Just as she did when Mrs. Potter jumped from her seat to greet her. When she offered her tea in the tea room or  a stroll through the gardens. Lily counted the new kindness as a necessary step to take towards a better environment. She was as happy as ever whenever they were invited to dinner. Lily was happy spending lunches deciding on color schemes, middle names, bed sheets, birth options and finances. She was even happy revisiting the topics when someone had shot her ideas down. Yes, she was happier now as she stroked an onesie on Sale in a muggle shop.

 

She hardly noticed through her haze as an employee made his way up to her and asked “do you need help ma'am?”

 

Startled she answered “No i-”

\------

 

“-never wanted a child James!” she screamed as the tears ran down her cheeks. They stood in the living room only a coffee table between them as they went at it. They were having dinner when deciding on what show to watch turned into fuck you’s. It was so sudden that James didn't know whether or not it was because he suggested a action movie.

 

“ It's not my fault you let her pressure you, lily! You didn't even tell me she was doing this!"

 

"Of course I didn't want to paint your perfect mother in a bad way" She hissed.

 

" Then how on earth am I supposed to know what's going on if you don't  bloody tell me!” James said frustrated as he dragged his hand roughly through his hair. His eyes were angry as he gazed at his fiancée.

 

“you would’ve brushed it off like you do everything else!” Lily accused him screaming. 

 

“ I never brush you off-”

 

“You’re trying to brush it off Again! When was the last time you actually gave a damn about my work?”

 

“We talk about your work everyday Lil’s how can I not give a fuck” James said through clenched teeth.

 

“ don’t lie! all you say is-” she slouched and jutted her  arms in a masculine way."-uh huh, yeah, that's nice, love you, you know. I'm absolutely fascinated by what you're talking about but the lads are waiting at the bar!”

 

James clenched his jaw ready to rebute her but lily  started going off on a tangent. “ You only get drunk now with that dog, Remus. You’re at those bars so much, I'm starting to think that maybe it's not only the alcohol that keeps you there at night.” 

 

She began going off on how left out she felt, how lonely she was waiting at the doctor's office alone. How so much food was wasted as she sat waiting for the fireplace to reveal him. That she felt  he put everything and everyone before her. 

 

“And don’t get me started on that job of yours” 

 

“Oh, sod off! I work my arse off; it's not my fault you don’t move your ass. If you want friends go make some no one's stopping you, lily. And God, stop acting as if I'm putting a hold on your career! You probably weren’t gonna get it anyway...not with that stom-” An echo went through the loft as Lily's hand came in contact with his cheek. 

 

A tear made its way down her cheek as she looked at him. He knew what she'd given up...he knew. Yet he had made it seem as if this was once again her fault. 

 

James tensed his jaw and flexed his fingers that rested  at his side. “ you're not getting rid of my child, Lily”

 

It seemed like days watching her stand there broken and in tears. It wasnt until 3 minutes later that She shook her head in agreement as she left to the bedroom. James clenched the remote in his hand before he lashed out and threw it at the opposite wall. The only sound in his world of silence.

\-----

 

Their days filled with it, as no words were spoken. Only the  shuffling of feet and the friction of garments on skin. As weeks passed they started sharing sad smiles and simple nods. Lily opted for going to bed by the time he returned from having bottles with Sirius. She stopped cooking for two when he and Remus went on a practice mission for work. They no longer talked, they didn’t cuddle or touch because Lily knew  he was no longer only hers.

 

Sometimes she would softly kiss his cheek when she saw the cocky and brilliant James Potter that caught a snitch for her. The James that bought the stupidest of muggle things in order to make her feel at home. The one that declared his undying love to her in front of the great hall. But that image would fade with each kiss.

 

The last one he got was  5 months later as she stepped through the threshold to gather the last of her bags. It hurt her not to look towards the nursery, but it hurt her more watching James let her go. But James was in no mood to care about how she felt, she had made her decision. 

 

If it had to be just Harry and him, then so be it. She'd already made her decision. They were the victims here. It was him who had gotten the short end of the stick, he'd had to put a hold on his training to take care of Harry. He had to suffer through managing laundry and feeding the boy. It was he who woke up every.single.night. Sometimes nothing would be wrong but the little brat would still cry. He would screech and wiggle  causing his neighbors to bang angrily at the door. There were bags under his eyes and headaches even hard liquor couldn’t soothe. So was he at fault if one day he simply ignored it all? Just left the house for a drink to return and find the kid cried himself to sleep. It was horrible of him to do so but it gave him more time to get his life back. All he had to do was mutter a Silencio or snatch one of the manor elves. Life was good again for once until his parents had questioned the elf on its absence during his duty.

 

He remembered Remus scolding him about it once, how he was borderline abusing the kid.  Remus was headstrong on making sure Harry was taken care of. But when he would force himself to hold the child he could only do it for no longer than 4 seconds, that scratchy feeling surrounding him once again. Moony just wasn’t clicking with the boy and would often refuse to enter the loft if Harry was out of his nursery. Harry soon turned into the dog you had to keep in the bathroom when you had a guest. One could laugh at how ironic it was, guarding the beast from the baby.

 

Sirius wasn’t much different, he often was the one to pull James away. He was James's main reason for bar bathroom quickies. Sirius didn’t and never wanted to understand what it meant to be a father. He was too immature and party wild, the same way he had been for all his years. He was there to be a best friend, to make sure James got laid and had a nice buzz. Sirius also followed his friends' lead, much as Peter had done. Meaning their friends were his, and their enemies were the bain of his existence -including babies. If Remus and James didn’t like the boy, he wouldn't either in their place. 

 

But then he met Haley, a squib parent who used to live down the hall. She would come and shut the little brat up most times. Most of her time in the loft, however,  was spent in James’s bed. It remained like that for days on end, even months later when she moved to a different residence. He would see her every weekday sometimes on weekends too, if he was feeling bored. The days without her were spent with Harry, some days he would force himself to get up and change the little bugger. Some days he couldn’t be bothered and simply let him cry himself to sleep once more. But as long as Haley was there James knew the child wouldn't die on his hands so he couldn’t care less.

  
  


“Get the kid won't you, doll?” James said tucking his prick back into his pants. He was sitting in the living room on the worn couch as he stretched his arms with a yawn.

 

“sure but I mean it when I say this is the last time,” the cougar said pulling her hair into a ponytail. She was at least benching 47 but she had the body of a 30-year-old footie mom. She was easy and more or less decent in terms of her “second employment”. 

 

“ Oh come on, it's just a little fun,” James said crawling up to her on the couch. He dipped his hand under the blanket with a smile.  “ just the same fun we have. You can’t blame Sirius for giving in! From what he told me they were practically begging for it”

 

She looked genuinely affronted as she lifted herself from his advances. “ These are my children you refer to. When I took this shit job I didn't expect your pervert of a friend to finesse my children into bed with him!”

 

“ Here we go” James sighed annoyed as he rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch. He didn’t think she’d get this pissed about it. Sirius had mentioned it to him before his little rendezvous with her own twins. He didn’t really care however seeing the twins were 18 and able to do whatever the fuck they well pleased. But Haley still found some way to paint that as bad and throw a hissy fit.

 

“ You know what, kid? Fuck you!” she yelled making her way to the front door.

 

“ You weren't calling me that when you were on my pr-” he was cut off by the slam or the front door closing. He flinched as he waited a few seconds to hear whether or not it had woken the boy. When 20 seconds  passed he sank into the couch with relief.

 

Than a choked cry broke out.

 

James grunted in frustration before getting up and angrily walking to the annoying little shit's room. He didn't even open to check on the boy before he was firing an aggressive Silencio at the hardwood. When the cries instantly drowned out he made his way to the kitchen area where he picked up one the many half-empty alcohol bottles.

 

He had better things to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by Theabsoluteworst ❤

James had gone out that night. Yes, it had been  to a bar with Sirius, but he couldn’t make himself enjoy neither the drink, nor even the girl eyeing him. It wasn’t guilt that was stopping him from enjoying his peace; no. It was more or less anger seeing how he had to think about whether or not to take another break from work to care for the annoying little bugger. He had practically pissed on the head Auror's shoes when he had asked for a month off the first time. Now, he couldn’t even imagine what this time would amount up to. 

 

He couldn’t even ship it off to his parents' house for the rest of his life. They wanted a grandchild, not a son they were forced to interact with several times a week. They wanted a stone that would slow down James's relationships and his rowdiness. But the moment they caught wind of lily’s abandonment they'd lost all hope of that.

 

However for all they knew the child was healthy and walking on all of its two feet. Something James had been forced to teach him when his mother had demanded some updates. He had a horrible time getting the shit to form small words too. Most of the bastard's vocabulary was made up of the cusses james would speak at him. James was beyond happy it wasn’t time for him to start potty training.

 

Oh, Fuck was it?

 

“ Maybe you should go home mate, you're stunting my game.” Sirius sighed as another set of girls had gotten up and left to the "bathroom”. Apparently, brooding guys weren’t as sexy as the media portrayed them to be.

 

“Yeah, whatever” James sighed throwing down his pound for the night. He made his way out of the club and walked  his way home. 

 

Maybe he was pissed because the way Haley had left was all too similar to Lily’s. A pissed girl leaving him  to care for a child alone. But then again, Haley was a right slut; he couldn’t compare her to Lily, who had been a friend and a mother to the boy who had once wanted a life with a happy future. 

 

No matter how angry he was he could never fault her for leaving. That wasn't the case once he'd had a few bottles and thought about how he felt about things such as family and love a little too much. 

 

“Fuck both of those slags!” he thought as he rounded the stairs to his floor. Stopping dead in his shoes once he caught sight of the person in front of his door.

 

Sitting with his arms crossed and his back against James's door sat someone James hadn't expected to see, if not ever, at least not so soon. 

 

"Snivellus Ape" James said before he could stop himself. 

 

No one had seen the git since he'd left the train station after their fifth year. When sixth rolled around he didn't show up. Most people got over it pretty quickly, he never did leave an impression anywhere he went. Although James remembered being frustrated at not being able to vent his frustration out on someone anymore. 

 

However, it had been like a miracle, because Lily had actually finally given him a chance. She had believed he had changed his bully ways and grew as a person. James rolled with it, although he knew it was because he had no one left to seriously harass. 

 

The figure's head jutted up at the sound before its eyes narrowed. He lifted himself graciously off the floor before fixing James with a hard glare. He didn’t seem to acknowledge the comment instead opting to simply ask “Who lives in this loft?”

 

James eyed him before he crossed his arms and hardened his stare. “Who wants to know?” he replied 

 

“ take a wild guess” Severus said, rolling his eyes.  

 

James glared at the tone before walking to his door budging Severus aside in the process. He fished out his keys and went to open the door when he felt a hand grab his elbow. He tensed turning and fixing Severus with a hard glare. 

 

“ Is your partner in? I’ve been knocking for quite some time… ”  Severus asked, not mentioning Lily’s name. He had heard through Lucius of her stay in France, she had been there on a family vacation. When Lucius had seen the girl he had questioned her on the whereabouts of Potter but she simply denied their involvement. So, naturally, Severus assumed she wouldn't be inside that apartment with the currently screaming child. 

 

“No, just me.” James bit out harshly. He twisted his key before unlocking the door. 

 

“Myself” he added as he slid into the loft.

 

And with a dramatic pause in the end finished "and I" before trying to slam the door in Severus's face. Severus was quick, however, quicker than James had anticipated and shoved a foot at the crook of the door before it had enough time to find purchase and shut. 

 

Severus, using little strength, shoved the door open and made his way into the apartment, past james. Severus took a quick glance around before quickly progressing further into the loft.

 

 James called angrily after him about this being an invasion of privacy and his space being broken into before slamming his door and stomping towards Severus.

 

 Severus was too busy inspecting the bathroom, then James's room and then lastly the door behind which the child seemed to be. 

 

As soon as Severus opened the door he was greeted with the strong pungent smell of piss. He gazed around the room and was able to identify only a crib as the sole furniture in the room. 

 

James tripped over his feet as he entered the room ready to force the bastard out of his home. But as soon as Severus turned to look at  him, James saw the familiar gaze lily had given him when she'd confided in him her distaste for the baby.  

 

“You’ve left this child here alone! Where the hell were you? getting pissed?" the shorter male hissed pushing at Jame's chest. “He’s been crying ever since I got here, oh Salazar I should've just broken in when no one answered the first time.” he cried 

 

James gazed at him with disinterest before checking his watch and deciding he didn’t have time to watch Severus beat himself up. “ Well, now that you’re here you can either shut him up yourself or get the hell out. I, on the other hand, am going to pass out for the better part of the day” James said pointing back towards the door.

 

He backed out the room working on taking his shoes and pants off while he made his way to the couch. He staggered a little before making it on his own and flopping down on his stomach. His hand reaching up to turn off the lamp.

 

Severus, however, quickly changed the child as soon as he felt the moisture leaking through his diaper and on his little crib.

 

 He gasped in horror at the red angry rashes that littered the child's lower stomach down to the inside of its thighs. He had some on his back and arms as well. Some angry bumps here and there as well. 

 

Severus pulled back the sweaty blankie before looking at the dirty sheets. He couldn’t chalk this one up to simply not caring for the boy. When he had seen James's bed he seemed like the type to follow the one wash every month-or-so rule. The boy had looked as if he hadn’t properly been cleaned when he did get changed. It looked fed but Severus knew the signs of malnourishment beginning to take place.

 

He wanted to cry alongside the hiccuping boy but decided against it as he discarded his own jacket before wrapping the boy up. He scavenged the room for a bag before he went around picking up necessities. 

 

He only took the boy; the diapers and clothes were too small and Severus never trusted formula-much less magic enhanced formula. He'd have to call in for a pickup. If there's one thing Severus hated it was dealing with house elves. 

  
  


\--------

“Thingol failed master, thingol fail, thingol no-”

 

“ oh be quiet, it's a simple mistake we’ll make due” Severus sighed before shooing the elf back to his mother's estate in Spain. He rubbed his temples before he gazed down at the pack of makeup powder. True to his word, it wasn’t a problem, Severus would just have to keep using salves. 

 

He had spent the entirety of the early morning reversing the boy's damage.  He had put healing sleeves practically over the boy's whole body. Most of the rashes had cleared up but some of the bites still persisted and fed him a little protein potion into some lactose milk and water- he had to make do with the fact that he didn’t have breast milk on hand. 

 

 Then, finally, he changed the boy into more fitting and comfortable clothes. Severus was immensely happy with himself as the child had finally found sleep.  

 

The boy lay on the couch on new slick and fluffy covers that he had no trouble sticking into. Severus had put up barriers along the couch before taking up residence on the couch across from the boy. In truth, he was supposed to be at his work desk, annoyed and pulling his hair out. But taking care of the poor child was ultimately more filling and less stressful than forcing words from his brain. 

 

He never really wanted to be a writer but when he and his mother had moved to Spain it had been inevitable. He raved his life down into a booklet and kept doing so religiously. He raved about the marauders about lily about his father. He had twisted and turned through his writing as his pen glided along the paper with ease. He wrote as if it he wasn’t the very boy, the sole existence of which made him weep as he wrote. He had changed his features all the way up to his memories.  

 

He had become a lone boy in a lonely town, the witch of Salem.  His father the devil and his mother a trapped human used for pleasure. Lily became the priest son's girlfriend,  Abigail, that washed away all signs of witchcraft. She had watched him get stoned, hanged drowned, but she never called out to him. Sooner or later he had lost that booklet, he was glad he did. It caused too many ties to his old self, he would learn to move on and forget. 

 

At least that was the plan before a man showed up on his doorstep with the booklet clutched in his hand. “ it struck me with a nasty hex when I first tried to open it”  he chuckled before offering a hand. 

 

The man had continued on about his position, what his title inferred and what  his connections were. He had told Severus of his life and of his colleagues asking for the piece he had written. Finally, he had mentioned his difficulty in tracking down the name that etched the cover. But he persisted that he wanted to meet him, himself. He didn’t believe it at first considering his cliche upbringing but he was quickly signed on to the company after a year.  He had produced that book ‘cool kids’ and then one each year after, all best sellers from Spain to California.

 

” The outsiders” an American greaser fic that sprouted from his take on the Slytherin and Gryffindor feud.  

 

Then his famous series of Neville Longbottom savior of the wizarding world. It was too far from reality to strike havoc among the wizarding council. He and Evan - his manager's son- had fun throwing words together and making up false spells. Those spells were often placed on muggle t-shirts sitting in alternative shops. 

 

By the time Severus turned 20 Everyone who enjoyed books knew the name Elijah Eileenson- everyone who saw the writer knew Severus Snape. But he didn’t mind, he was the one to suggest the name change, in fear of it getting back to London.

 

 Plus, the government of magical relations had all but forced it to begin with. 

 

But his success had now put an anchor on his back, forcing him to one-up each time he wrote. He had all but packed up and moved back to Britain to escape his manager's gaze. Evan had laughed at Severus's fear of his father. 

 

Both Rosier men were handsome but in a devilish sort of way; in Spain muggles believed they drink blood. It stemmed from their ancestors who were there to pillage the early natives and on to them in the modern day.

They were hard cut men who were rough and “scary”.  Mr. Roseir was often the enforcer in his business and enforce he did. He got what he wanted and when he said what that was  you never could get past his defenses ether. He was closed off and only there for money and work, he didn’t enjoy life. Mrs. Roseir didn’t even know her husband's birthday and it was said he got it legally removed. But that didn’t stop her from celebrating it 2 times each year no matter how many divorces he threatened. 

 

 His son, however, was slightly more feared, you see Evan was a death chaser. He sped while drunk and often stuck his tongue in his lighter flame. He got into fights and into bed with anyone that was down for it. He only entertained people with thick skin and thick blood. If you couldn't live on the edge of death, he didn’t want you. 

 

Not too many people were down for his need to fake speed off a cliff. He tested them that way and the moment they would yell for him to “stop the damn car” he would unlock their door and tell them to scram. 

 

He had done it to Severus for fun and succeed without complaint. They had necked in the car after and never revisited that memory. They only got intimate 2 more times after but that was because they were teens. Severus never had those feelings for him unless he wanted fun. But for the better part of their relationship- he was a stick in the mud. So they strictly remained friends who shagged every once in a blue moon. 

 

He had started to write about the boy but he had never gotten into it. Severus had told Evan as much when he passed him the one and only page to read. Evan had laughed hysterically at the honor and promised to check up on it if he continued on. But seeing the child on his couch Severus didn't even know if he’d ever write again during his stay. 

 

“The hell you won’t, you are down there to write! ” Mr. Rosier interjected. 

 

“ or get a break” Severus mumbled. 

 

Rosier face shifted into anger in the fire before he asked. "what was that?” 

 

“I'm down here to write, sir, as you said, I shall do so…” Severus said to the approval or the older male. “Buuut-”

 

“No buts unless they're on paper! You're a smart boy Sev, you really are. You're like a better son to me and my health. That is why I'm going to tell you one more time to get it done!”  the fire flared before it dimmed and Severus was left staring at the fireplace. 

 

“Fuck” he hissed before turning to begin his breakfast. 

 

The night threaded on easily and Severus was able to catch 5 hours of sleep before his fireplace roared. He had spent the next 2 hours conversing with his editor and he was quite hungry. 

 

As the day progressed into noon the child kept sleeping. It may have been because it never got adequate sleep along with the potions and salves fixing up his body. 

 

Severus didn’t know what he was going to do about that. WCPS was a shit branch that didn’t actually care about children. Much like the muggles CPS they did therapy and send you off somewhere worse than your current situation. 

 

He much rathered taking care of the child himself, seeing how no one else seemed to want to do it. James had yet to come by as well, he was either sleeping or had packed up and left. 

 

Severus wouldn’t be surprised if he took this as his chance to leave the poor boy behind. But no matter how bitter his thoughts were on the matter he wasn’t surprised when he got a couple of bangs on his door. Severus hissed, quickly making his way towards the door. As he opened it, he was met with a James who held a paper that had his loft number etched onto it. 

 

“You truly are a witch, aren’t you? stealing my child in the night… ” James said shoving past Severus and into the apartment. James took in the library that laid before him with distaste,  he could barely stand the one at Hogwarts. He grimaced more seeing his troubles laying on the couch and sleeping soundly. Ha, that was a first. 

 

“Like hell, I would leave him in that disgusting mess you keep him in” Severus sneered as he spat the words out. 

 

Severus jumped backward as James faced him, with quick  advances Severus was backed up against a wall “I don’t know where you’re getting this confidence but don’t make me take it from you” James growled 

 

 Severus narrowed his eyes ready to send the other a sneer before a small whimper broke through the silence. He peeked behind James before sending him one last look then making his way to the child. 

 

He cooed gently as he kneeled beside the couch stroking the child’s cheek before picking him up. Severus checked under his clothes before bringing the child’s bottom to his nose.  He recoiled as soon as he did quickly turning to his coffee table. He bent to place the boy down on the hardwood while bringing his head down softly against it.

 

James watched as he bent down to change the boy. James wasn’t the biggest supporter of Snape in his younger days but he rather appreciated his older years. 

 

The boy had filled into his features and the nose -although still big- fit on his face better. He was still a lanky little thing, still significantly smaller than James himself. He skin tone evened out to a natural color wherever the hell he disappeared too and his hair looked much cleaner.  

 

James had to admit- he was intrigued. “So what exactly does the great ape do?” He asked

 

Severus shot him a look before continuing with his mission. "I work from home, I set the criteria on books for schools,” He said nodded towards the stacks around him. It wasn’t a lie right now his stories where benching college level. So in a way, he did set the criteria for books student should read.  Although wide James's eyes were calculating before they returned to their natural state. Severus felt nervous at the hidden accusation of lying but 

paid it no mind. If James thought he knew Severus was lying then what did it matter to him. 

 

“ so lily walked out, didn’t she?” Severus asked nonchalantly. “I wouldn’t put it past her to leave someone to your abusive hands” Severus had figured it out last night when the child had opened his eyes. Severus was stunted before he resumed his healing, harboring a new heartbreak to the girl Lily used to be. 

 

“The kid's annoying” 

 

“Is his name kid, because I’d rather like to call him something different?” Severus asked sarcastically as he cleaned the baby’s bottom.

 

“It’s Harry or Henry-Take your pick”

 

“Well, Harry Is certainly quite underfed, under washed and simply undertaken care of,” Severus said tying the new diaper and rising from his knees. He watched on as Harry played in gurgled up at the ceiling. 

 

“ His babysitter just quit,” the brown-haired male said from his position. 

 

Severus laughed as he faced him. “He had one?”

 

“Yes! she was hot,” James said with a smirk that caused Severus to roll his eyes in disgust. 

 

“Well maybe try to find an experienced one next time, one that isn’t just hot” With that Severus picked up Harry and stood to dispose of or the offending wrapped package. 

 

James eyed his movements before the nasty smirk came back and he crossed his arms. “ 700 gallons a week, we can figure out a schedule after I get back from work,” James said quickly turning on his heel. 

 

Severus gawked at the retreating back before placing harry on the floor and running after him and grabbing his elbow. “ oh no no no!” 

 

“Uhhh” James grunt screamed annoyed before gazing down at the black haired male. “What is the problem, weren’t we-” he motioned between them. "-in agreement? What more do you want” 

 

“ An explanation to why you don’t bloody care for him yourself, maybe?” Severus asked

 

“Because I never wanted to in the first place.” James answered bitterly. He then grabbed Severus's hands into his own rough ones causing the smaller to jolt. “ let's face it, snivy, if you leave that poor boy with me, you’ll be to blame for any further neglect” 

 

Severus was shocked into silence at the threat before he shook his head in disbelief.“You are a disgusting  bastard” 

 

“yes, yes I know now if you’ll excuse me!” and with that James, Potter walked out his door. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by TheAbsoluteWorst ❤❤❤

James hadn't been around for 3 days, since he walked out of Severus’s apartment. Severus had tired knocking on his door a couple of times at different times of the day, but to no avail. The bastard was never in or doing a fantastic job at acting like he wasn't.

 

 It didn’t take long for severus to get tired with James's games. He needed to talk to him and he needed to do it now! 

 

The only thing that kept him from knocking was Harry running around searching for something that wasn't there. He knew Harry didn't see james often, but you could assume he saw him often enough to presume that he was important somehow. He often took to searching the house for the man and anything that linked back to him.

 

The bright side was that it didn’t seem like the boy suffered from too much stress. He was still social and lively, but severus put it down to a want for real attention. It was sad seeing the boy act out for it, like a zoo animal.

 

Severus remembers the moment he had set Harry on the floor to chase after James. He had been surprised at first when he turned and there was no child. He had imagined Harry crawled off somewhere so he had begun to look for the boy. 

 

His apartment was clean -obviously, but that didn’t mean nothing could fall on the child and crush him. That sent panic through severus as he noticed the living room was vacant.

 

 He began to look a second time when he heard distant paters. He leaned his figure back until he could gaze into the hall of his apartment. He quickly noticed his bedroom door standing a foot open. Severus walked to it, briskly fearing he had left his potions out. 

 

He opened the door slowly, flinching at the squeak before gazing around the bland environment. “Harry?”

 

He heard a squeal and instantly jumped and turned to face a little Harry gurgling up at him. Severus gasped clutching his heart as he released all the breath from his lungs in quick puffs. He wasn’t scared he was just surprised. 

 

“Harry” severus breathed squatting to be level with the boy. 

 

“Bassward” the boy squealed clapping in happiness at the new person.  He didn’t know where he was but he felt great!

 

Severus choked on his spit as he narrowed in on the boy. “Did you just call me a bastard?” Harry only squealed in cheerfulness that he was communicating with the man. Severus eyes softened before they hardened up again with resentment. “I’m going to kill him” 

 

After that severus had called upon another of his mothers elves with the task of gathering more baby supplies. He even summoned for a crib for the little thing and a gate that would keep Harry from his books. Harry liked those books, he found it fun to push them over and drag them from the hardwood cover. He also liked the hardwood floor, opting to lay face down and drool on it. Oh and he liked to suck on severus cheek, his nose, his coffee table and his couch. It was obvious he stayed attached to his pacifier a little too long. So with his running and his need to put odd things in his mouth, Severus could imagine why James thought he had the authority to lock him in his crib. 

 

But severus made due with it by replacing his fascination for disgusting things with food and games. It wasn’t a hard task and it didn't distract severus from his work too much -once he'd baby proofed everything. 

 

He moved all the books from the living room to the spare room that was already filled with books. His desk was now in the living room, no longer in his office. 

 

He moved around furniture and squeezed in the crib next to his bed and the playpen in the living room. Now his house looked less like a librarian's wet dream and more like a daycare center. 

 

After the arrangements he found it easier to keep an eye on the boy. It was also quite easy to sit and not write while taking care of the infant. And, although Harry repeatedly spoke in profanities, he was surprisingly good company. 

 

 He was still great company 3 days later, but that didn’t mean severus was ready to full on move him in. He might had been working from home but his manager could pop by. If james was serious about this then they really did need that schedule.

 

 So as he and Harry were walking down towards james's apartment he was set on telling him that. He highly doubted he would be in this time either, but if not it was a great opportunity to let Harry breath. 

 

Of course, thanks to Severus's ever worsening luck, James was in fact in his apartment and he had company! As soon as he reached James's floor he could hear people from inside his apartment. Before he could even reach the door to knock, it swung open and, not one, not two, but three God forsaken bints walked out and past him towards the stairs. 

 

Severus pulled a face at their backs and the apartment they came from. Harry, however, was excited to see even more people let out a squeal. “ blliichs” 

 

Severus gasped before picking the boy up as the three turned. He smiled nochantly as they gazed at him like he was the odd one. And he remained smiling until they disappeared down the hall. 

 

Severus sighed in relief before turning his head to gaze at the small trouble maker. “ I'm gonna kill your daddy” he cooed as Harry giggled and nodded along cutely. Severus placed a kiss on his forehead before knocking on the door. 

 

It took a few moments but eventually James opened it and instantly made a move to close it. 

 

Severus was quicker as he shouldered the door and pushed james back. “ glad to know you're alive” Severus said putting harry on the couch and passing him one of his toys. 

 

“Yeah I'm sure you are, now why are you here?” Severus gazed at Potter before he bit the inside of his cheek in thought. James gazed questiongly at him before severus let out a laugh. “What the he-”

 

Severus's hand stung with such force than even harry stilled with fear as he searched for the scary noise that had taken his attention away from his toy. 

 

When harry's lip started tremble severus picked him up from where he sat, hugging the child close and softly bouncing him. Severus paid james no mind as james tested his jaw movement before coming to terms with what exactly just happened. 

 

“Did you just hit me?” 

 

“ I didn’t hit you” Severus said fire burning in his eyes. “ I slapped you.” 

 

James glared at the smaller male, hand flexing on his jaw. "huh, ok”  he took fast calculated steps towards severus as the smaller stepped back. When he was close enough he grabbed one of  the arms wrapped around Harry's body in a fierce grip. “Put him down” 

 

“Why would I do that? You’ll attack me if I do”

 

“That's where you’re wrong. I’ll attack you either way, doll.” James's hand flexed slightly around his wrist. “I should’ve bent you over my knee the first time you acted out”

 

Severus gasped before jutting his chin out. ”what the hell! I’m an adult you re-” 

 

“I refer to when you stepped out of line in 3rd year" 

 

"Listen to me,Potter" Severus spat in disgust. " the moment you put your hands on me is the moment you walk your sorry ass down the path to hell in a joyous trot with the reaper"

 

James's mouth twitched at that before he let out a ugly laugh. He doubled over before wiping the tears from his eyes. "Your such a riot, tell me, where was this severus back in school" he said smirking at the smaller man.

 

"He was there, you just thought he was ugly"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BETA'd 
> 
> -guys I’ve made a mistake but I’m gonna play it off. I had Harry drinking formula in one of the early chapters but at his age, he should already be eating a lot of solid food so let's just imagine he’s also drinking formula because he still needs the vitamins and needs to catch up from some of the neglect. Even though that's not how it works irl-

"Can't, I have work," James said as he shrugged back on the couch. "Ever since you came along, I've picked up a full schedule."

 

Severus looked at him bored as he tried to figure out if those women hindered his "full schedule." "When are you gonna pick up being a full-time Dad?"

 

James directed a bored look at Severus before making himself comfortable again and picking up the TV remote. He did some clicking before slinging it back down beside him. He yawned and scratched his stomach. Severus gazed disapprovingly at him, James looked like a proper deadbeat. Well, he was a proper deadbeat, wasn’t he? Severus thought frowning in deep thought before getting up and standing in front of James's view of the muggle footie game.

 

“Aye, watch it” The brunette swatted at him, straining his neck to see if he could look past the towering nuisance. Severus ignored him.

 

“Get up.”

 

“Why the hell would I do that? I'm watching a match at the moment,” he jerked his head sideways "move!”

 

The black-haired boy just continued to look down at the disgusting excuse of a high school popular jock. He still looked the same, still had the abs and the strong quidditch legs. But you could tell he had gotten pathetic. Well, more than he already was.

 

“Get up… We’re going to fight.” Severus said evenly.

 

James paused, tilting his head up to gaze at the younger male. “What did you just say?” Severus wasn’t afraid to deliver the same sentence again and it sparked something within James. This was, in fact, Snivellus he was talking too, an inferior being that he bullied all too easily back in school. A boy whose nose was bigger than his head and his body combined. Yet, he’s the one initiating a fight with James, a Quidditch athlete that could’ve gone pro, if he wanted too. A Gryffindor born to be an Auror. Someone who could easily overpower the likes of Snivellus in a heartbeat. James let out a chuckle before it sent him into an all-out fest. leaning forward to bury his head in his hands, shoulders shaking violently. Severus glared at the insult before he lashed his arm out and clocked James in the side of the head. It only took seconds for James to get up and dish out equally nasty hits. Harry, who was sat in a highchair only a few feet away watched on in joyful ignorance.

 

Surprisingly it was Severus who came out on top the first time. “Why are you so bloody frustrating, uhh, he’s your fucking child you blithering Cabrón”

 

James flipped them gearing up his arm for another punch. “I don’t even know what that means” James gritted swinging a barely catching the others cheek.

 

“Naturally you don’t, Pendejo! Que te folle un pez!” Severus said scornfully digging his nails into the arm keeping his shoulder pinned down.

 

“Pahnahoo” Harry screamed.

 

“I don’t know if you're trying to piss me off more or turning me on,” James said in retaliation.

 

Severus’s bruised face screwed up before he mumbled something incoherent. All James knew is a moment later he was flung off and away from the other. Once James was on the ground groaning Severus sat up, stopping short as his vision swayed. “ow," James mumbled.

 

Harry lost interest in the adults and refocused on the tv that showcased a man being lifted into the air. Harry wanted to fly too.

 

The black-haired male slowly made it to his feet before stumbling over to the other male, gathering his discarded wand up along the way. Once he was towering over James’s figure again, he pointed. All James saw was his lean figure and his pale face framed by his raven hair. Blood trailed from his cheek and somehow lined a part of Severus's upper lip. James wasn't any better.

 

“When you wake up, we will talk about Harry’s wellbeing and find a way for you to make time!”

 

James groaned seeing Severus's lips curve around his next words. James drowned and mumbled “Cheater.”

 

“stupefy.” Severus sighed as he saw James's head loll.

 

This was a bad idea. He had always had a primal need to fight with James, but lately that need was turning more deadly.

 

The author looked towards the idiot’s spawn, asking why he had such an idiotic father. Harry ignored him continuing with a new task. Severus huffed and dragged his hands across his face before throwing his wand on the couch.

 

 

Setting his hands on his hips, he looked down at the other man. This was gonna be a pain, he thought, before bending and trying to get some leverage to grab ahold of the other. It was hard, not only was James muscularly heavy, but it seemed like his stupidity added more weight too…

 

Severus was barely able to drag him to the couch much less able to throw him on it. Once more than half of James’s body was on the sofa, Severus plopped down beside the sleeping male.

 

James’s head lolled sideways till it connected with Severus's shoulder.

 

 

The Slytherin didn’t mind, well not until James snored loudly in his ear.

 

“Even in sleep you’re annoying,” Severus sneered getting up from the couch as James’s body fell into the now empty space.

 

Making his way to the surprisingly clean kitchen, he checked for any unused towels before soaking two of them.

 

 

Afterwards, he searched around for a first-aid kit because who wouldn’t have one? James, that's who.

 

As a result, he angrily shut the drawer he’d been looking in and grabbed one towel from under the hot stream. He wrung it and took to working on his own injuries. Severus winced at how deep the gash on his cheek was. He’d get an infection and scars if he left his cuts like this without the proper medical equipment. Hence with great pain, Severus did the one thing he detested doing.

 

“Thingol!” When Severus heard the static pop he turned to face the miniature elf that stood before him. “Would you be a dear and fetch me my first aid kit?"

 

Once Thingol had gone, Severus turned to the little boy currently entranced with trying to bounce in his seat. The older man smiled and jerked his head right. It only took a moment for the highchair to start moving in his direction. Harry looked intrigued by the sudden motion letting out an almost silent “what.”

 

In the time Thingol took to return Severus took to cutting up one of the apples on the table passing them to harry as he went along. And as the author looked down into the eyes of the boy he couldn’t help but coo.

 

“ You hungry?”, he asked grabbing the last four and handing them over. He found himself smiling looking at the two. Thingol was more organized and refined with his eating, his droopy ears making him look like a little bunny. Harry, however, just seemed to suck then throw them on the floor but still, they were both so cute. And that made Severus happy.

 

But all too soon he found himself squatted before a sleeping figure who was oozing blood on the couch cushion. But that wasn’t Severus’s problem to deal with, was it? No, his problem was alternating between several alternative ways to snore.

 

“I see why she left you,” Severus sighed readying himself to clean off the other. James twitched at the contact every time Severus dabbed too close to his cuts but still the black-haired male kept on. Cleaning the others face was a pain, between the twitching and tossing he did Severus almost left him. It honestly felt as if he was doing it on purpose.

 

It got to the point where he had to settle on top of the other just so he wouldn't turn away again. But that proved useless as the other's arms warped around his wrist that held the dishrag and yanked. Severus yelped as his lips made contact with James' cheek. He tried to sit up but the arms already moved on to his waist. Oh hell no.

 

He braced his arms on the free areas of the couch before trying to hoist himself but each time James’s arms would tighten. It stayed like that for a few minutes until Severus's struggles began to sway them closer and closer to the edge of the couch. And eventually, Severus’s back met the floor in a puff of air. But the lack of air wasn’t Severus's concern, no his concern was still latched on to him and it had developed another arm. James was snuggled in between his legs and his face buried with the crease of his neck.

 

Severus whined. “Why me?”

 

James only smiled from where he laid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James is an Auror I'm pretty sure they learn how to withstand a stupefy during training


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for another sucky update college is lame and beating my ass (this chapter is UN'Beta'd until further notice) we are college students having a tough time right now.

“Could you chew any louder?” James growled.

Severus lifted his head from his meal, mouth full and dirty. “Yes” and continued eating the spaghetti.“Oh, this sucks, by the way.” Fork pointed down at the pasta before he shoveled in another mouth full. Just because it wasn't the best didn't mean Severus was any less hungry.

“Impossible,“ James said crisply. “This is my mother's spaghetti, the best there ever was.” 

Severus looked at him with a frown and a sad look in his eyes. “Such a shame you’ve never tasted flavor.” Before cracking a smile when James threw a piece of bread at his head. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve spent a week in Mexico.” James mocked. 

“You mean Italy?” Severus corrected.

“What's the difference?” James said dismissively. “About 6,317 miles.” Severus shot back.

“Yeah, whatever. What the bloody hell were you doing there?” 

“Just for fun.” was his answer. It was a half-truth he was there for the same reason he was back in England. It wasn’t the first time he’s been sent off for his books. He’s been to France for a year and Italy for a year and a half.

James narrowed his eyes at that. “Why do you always lie to me?” Severus had taken another bite of his food before he graced James with an answer. “I don't, and if I am it's my business.”

With that, he turned to Harry who was taking bites of his garlic bread in large chunks. His cheeks were filled with what Severus guessed where leftovers from his first couple of bites. He also had sauce on his lip and chin, and Severus was puzzled because he didn’t even give him sauce. When Sev shot him a questioningly gaze Harry only smiled crookedly letting the leftovers peak out. Ew. 

“Fine. I need Harry tomorrow.” James said stabbing angrily at his food. Severus was starting to piss him off with these half-truths. The Slytherin quirked a brow at this turning to look at James in surprise. 

“You want to spend time with your child?” 

“Salazar no,” Severus rolled his eyes mumbling incoherently of course.“ I have to go to the manor tomorrow; my mother wants to see her grandchild,” James answered. 

“And to foolishly think” Severus started turning back to the child and wiping his chin.“Your daddy wanted to stop being a waster.” 

“Don’t say that,” The Gryffindor screeched. Severus smiled thinking he was riling him up by calling him out on his shit. “That word is not reserved for him… But you, you can call me daddy… or Papi” He smirked. Severus truly gagged feeling the mediocre spaghetti rise in his throat. Even consumed and digested it tasted to overcooked and sweet. 

“That’s it!” Severus announced throwing his lap towel down on the table. “I’m ordering some real food!” Causing James to let out a squeak.

“Real food! This food is the first to go at any gathering.”

“Where? Straight to the loo?” Severus dumbly questioned watching the red rise to the top of James’s neck. But it didn’t seem like he wanted to give Severus the time of day anymore and instead gathered a deep breath before walking out of the dining area and into his room. The writer could only watch before he shrugged and snagged the boy’s landline quickly sorting through the take out flyers James had stuffed into a kitchen door. Severus wouldn’t be surprised if this “five-star” spaghetti was the only thing he knew how to make. Probably serves it to his doggies for mealtime, Severus wouldn’t doubt they’ll consider this fine dining. Savages they are. 

By the time the Food arrived Severus had cleaned up Harry and had him on the floor in front of the telly. Severus didn’t trust those mind-numbing creepy animals they played for kids, so he kept it on an education channel. Maybe some of the words would stick with Harry or lure him to sleep. Either would be fine for Severus as it was getting quite late. As he reclined back on the couch slurping up the cheaply made pasta from a joint down the street James had finally emerged from his room once more. 

“That doesn’t look like ‘Brunch with my parents tomorrow’ attire,” Severus noted only to be annoyed as James glared back at him before exiting -and slamming the door- the loft.

“Ass.” Severus mumbled causing Harry to unconsciously mumble it back even if he was solely focused on the toy in his hands. Severus only groaned before picking the boy up and resigning to teaching the boy at least two new words until James got back from his exploits. Except James wasn’t at a bar or a hotspot with Sirius hanging off his back. No, he was at the ministry leaning against Weasley's desk as he uncovered a file. 

“I can’t do this again Potter. This is barely legal on the account he’s taking care of your child.”Arthur said holding out a pink and red folder. “The pink one is magical history and the red one contains muggle records such as alter ego’s and since he’s half-blood family ancestry, etc.” 

“Alter Ego’s?”

“Yeah,” Arthur answered before quickly stating.“ not necessarily used for malicious actions. A Lot of wizards have falsehoods to create living and Medical records in the Muggle world. Like -you remember Ava? She has one under Isabella Macklin, so she can be a muggle attorn-”

“You know what,” James interrupted handing the folders back. “Why don’t you take this is read it back to me because I don’t know what the bloody hell you’re talking about.”

“Er… sure, Um Severus Snape born January 9, 1960, Spinnerstown hospital. It seems he’s had a rough time growing up. Say's his father was brought in on suspicion on Domestic abuse...Several times- but the charges were dropped once Eileen snape refused to testify. Medical notes cases of the flu, broken bones, prescriptions of pills-”

“What's that?” 

“Basically muggle potions: depression, anxiety, and insomnia all handed out pretty consistent up until Two years ago when he cleared therapy. Said he moved to Spain and we’d require the Red one for that.” He said clumsy setting the pink file down and begging to open up the red one. 

“Elijah Eileenson! A very famous writer it seems. Won bestseller for Neville Longbottom -Arthur snorted at the name- savior of the wizarding world. Has a good couple of books under his belt and is signed under the Rosier ink publishing office- noted this is what seems to be marked as a wizard owned establishment. And it seems as if he’s rumored to be working on another book as we speak! Wow, he’s done Himself good hasn’t he-” 

“Yeah, I’m sure of it,” James said with a dangerous glare- He knew that slimy snake was lying to him. “Any relationship statuses?”

“Now James, I’ve already discussed quite a bit for you as an employer to know. I-”

“He’s taking care of my Child Arthur,” James said worriedly. “ I need to know if his partners may pop up and if they do, are they a threat to my son” He sympathized playing on Wesley's fatherhood. 

Weasley sighed through his nose before grabbing his wand and waving it over the parchment. “ Only one, Evan Rosier. Dated, if even that, briefly but remain close friends. Now I really must ask you to go, I’ve already gone as far as my position allows.” 

James smiled. “No worries mate, got all I needed anyway.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Wake up!” Severus flinched at the smack that landed on his nose before wiggling it. He pried his booger-ed eyes open to gaze at the bain of his entire being. There James stood prim and proper with a button-down and muggle jeans. Severus wouldn’t be surprised if he were sporting church shoes or penny loafers. 

“See you couldn’t fix that hair of yours.” Severus acknowledged gazing from his comforter. 

“Likewise.”

“Ooo, you wound me,” Severus said sarcastically before leaning up on his right forearm. “How’d you get in my house?”

“Ways. Now change my son, I have somewhere to be in the next hour.” James said before making his way out of the Slytherins bedroom. Severus only grumbled a few harsh things under his breath before he pushed himself upwards. 

This wasn’t what he wanted to do on a Saturday evening, but it’s better than brainstorming a final War scene when you’ve barely gotten to chapter five. God, why did he have to write a series! He should’ve one off’d Voldemort and got it over with. 

But still, after changing Harry’s diaper, feeding him and dressing him, he watched James step into his fireplace (without permission) and leave with the only distraction keeping him from his desk. So there he sat propped against his chair as his knuckles cramped, and his paper ripped. He was starting to fancy one of those Computers, but he was a traditional man. Even if it meant wasting ink and then more ink to cross over the ink to fix the ink, he still enjoyed his trusty typewriter. 

“Oh, my Fucking Shit!” Severus screamed, ripping up another paper that housed far too many Mistakes to even be worth fixing. That’s it! He’s done and never writing again! Fuck it!

It wasn’t often he give up on a book that he already had five possible timelines written off on. But he was finding it exceeding difficult to end this series like he wanted to. 

So instead, he retired to the bathroom where he sat soaking up the evening. He was only beginning to prune, but he still refused to be removed from the warm solace while the day set on his window — the copy of the first few chapters laid beside the tub, covered in incense ashes and watermarks. Severus had even burnt a few cigarette holes into it in disgust as he decided whether or not to scrap it all. The paper was as good as ruined anyway.

He only lit another before reclining back into the tub and blowing the smoke harshly from his nose. My god, he hated smokers, but he hated writing more and still did it. He was always a hypocrite and had no qualms of admitting it. Merlin forbid someone else was, he’d call them out quicker than a firebolt.

In the distance, Severus heard a thunderstorm of steps and creaking. A Hissed curse and an odd infant sound before the steps continued. 

“Severus!” A manly voice called before he heard the door was pushed open. “Sev- Oh, what pretty collarbones.”

“What a creepy entrance,” Severus answered back, popping one eye open to reveal James leaning against the doorway. “How’d you get i-”

“In your house? Ways.” James answered back nonchalantly, causing Severus to leer in a hateful way. “Fine, why are you in my bathroom?” 

“Because I wanted to talk to you, and you so happen to be in the bathroom,” James said, shrugging as readjusted his stance. “By the way, that’s a nice little setup you got for Harry in there.”

“Why do you want to talk to me, Potter?” Severus spoke, closing his eyes once more. He had nothing to worry about, as long as James stayed the fuck away from him, and he still had a cloud of soap covering him. 

“Thought you wanted to hear about the brunch.” 

“I don’t.” 

“Well, since you asked,” James started just as Severus interrupted him once more. “I didn’t. Now it’ll do you best to leave; I’ll feel bad having you posted like that and not giving you the time of day. Must be uncomfortable having to hold up your body weight and stupidity.”

“That was horrible; you could do better than that Severus.” James sighed before beginning to work the buttons of his shirt. “But since you so kindly offered.” 

“I’m sorry, what did I offer?” Severus spoke before opening his eyes once more in time to see James shuck his trousers to his knees. Severus reared up in the bathtub, a nasty snare forming on his lips. “No.” James paused, right hand trying to dislodge the pant cuff from his left ankle — left hand gripping the top of his briefs. They held eye contact before James uncaring shoved them off too. Severus sighed in sheer anger, putting a hand on his eyes like he discovered a new form of a headache. 

Today was not his day. 

“Ow, sheeet. Did you boil this water in hell?” The Auror said, seating himself facing the snake. The author pulled a disgusting face as he felt James leg along the length of his.

“Do you understand consent?”

James only stared from where he sat before looking at Severus as if he was dumb. “Yes.” 

“Anyway, It went horribly. Kinda, I enlightened my parents on work— they’re proud...obviously. I even mentioned finding a suitable nanny to be here when I can’t look after my little Gryffindor. Harry, when he was being held, even asked for kisses! Scored some fine points for that.” James said smugly.

“I taught him that,” Severus grumbled.

 “Yes, I know, but anyway, Harry was preening at the attention. Sure he was still dull to the world around him and instead focused on the most childish things -but he was doing good. All until we were getting ready to leave.” James said, waiting for the other to ask what happened next, although Severus never did.

 “He called my Father a bastard.” Severus, not to anyone’s surprise, let out the ugliest belly laugh that. Well, if that isn’t the funniest shit, he’s heard in weeks. “Sadly, it sounded a little too rehearsed to be passed off a baby ramble— so I had to come up with a buyable explanation. Only hope Mother feels better about Sirius before Yule comes around.”

“You blamed it on Sirius. That’s fucked up. Now he might miss out on your mom’s spaghetti next family dinner.” Severus said with false sympathy for the sadistic freak.

“I’m not joking Snape. My mother gave me a good lashing for it to; she sounded just like you.” 

Severus only quirked an eyebrow before stubbing the cigarette. “I’m surprised she even believed you. But you’ve always been a good lair during Hogwarts.”

“Unlike you, I don’t find lying a hobby. Oh, speaking of which I’d advise you not to lie to me when I ask you a question.” James fired back. 

“If I lie, it’s no one’s business but my own.” 

“Yes, because hiding a couple of dorky books is so life-threatening,” James mocked. Severus slit his eyes before standing up and out of the bathtub and making his way to the living room a moment later. Nudity be damned. His wet feet patter-ed across the floor before he came and peeked at Harry, sitting in the area that was made for him. He checked to see if the child needed any enjoyment before he began heading back to the bathroom. He quickly shot a silencing spell at the door before entering and closing it. 

“What did you do!” The author seethed at the male leaning against the edge of the bathtub.

“What any smart person with an active liar in their mists would. Did you forget that I’m an Auror and your employer.” 

“I never willingly agreed to it! You threatened a child’s life and expected me to not take care of him! I’m not doing this for bloody money, and even then, you have no right to look into me! Even years later, you’re still so fucking incredible! Did you do this to Lily too?” Severus argued, screaming his lungs out at the other. 

“No! I’ve never done anything to her except put up with her Bullshit!-” 

“Like-Minded people band together, I guess,” Severus fired in the background. 

“And I’m not about to sit here and take yours!” James yelled over his outburst. 

“I never asked you to!” Severus screamed before James continued. “But you expect me to! I gave you chances Severus, just a few to tell me the truth and nothing else. Now I don’t have to deal with your lying because now I know everything.” 

“Exactly what is everything?” Raged Snape.

“The word is pretty self-explanatory. Don’t you think?”

Severus jaw ticked before he shook his head. “You know what, whatever. I shouldn’t even be surprised by such blatant disrespect towards my privacy concerning you.” 

“I’m glad you realize that now.”

“I can’t believe I thought you’d ever be a suiting husband” Severus mumbled causing James to quirk up. 

“Suiting husband!? You thought of marriage, my Severus its only been a couple of weeks.” 

“That's not what I meant!” Severus backtracked quickly. He had meant all the opportunities he could provide Lily if they had a family. He didn't like Potter but he was never stupid enough to see lily did -despite any and all of his shortcomings. “I was referring to how Lily spoke of you in school and ho- actually don’t test me. Drain the tub when you’re done, then get the fuck out.” Severus finished before exiting the room once more. 

It was only a few minutes later when Severus was dressed in a worn Iron maiden shirt and Pj bottoms; Did James cross his path again dressed in slacks with his shirt unbuttoned and one of his towels draped across his head. James merely smiled at him as Sev bounced Harry on his lap. He was even smiling as he called out Bye honey when he exited, taking one of Severus’s few towels with him. It always made Severus blood boil that James was unfazed by all his misdoings. Fuck Severus was fazed by others for them. All he could chalk it up to was rich and spoiled. He’s never felt a hand against his skin a day in his life, and it showed like a cold sore. 

Severus would’ve glowered some more if his fireplace didn’t ignite, and an old face appeared. “Tobi!” 

“I told you never to call me that!” Severus growled before placing Harry down as the inflamed head snapped to his location.

“Just had to make sure you wouldn’t ignore me” The man smiled. 

“You’re probably one of the hardest people to ignore,” Severus said, walking to the fireplace. “What do you want, Evan?”

“Well, for starters, an explanation on who’s child that is on the couch, and I’m coming down to London on the 12th.” 

“One not mine and two why? Are you coming as a friend or a devil’s advocate to your father? You know what it’s probably the one that’s gonna have me pulling my hair out.” the author said, crossing his arms.

He should feel grateful it's Evan coming down, at least he won’t yell at him. The last time Mr. Rosier came down while he was in France, he simply threw he’s two months’ work in the trash. After that, he sat and watched as Severus rewrote something worth publishing. Severus would have cried if he wanted him to critique his crying. But in all his assholeness, the man was a good publisher and had been the father, although just as harsh, Severus thought he deserved. Someone who didn’t let him slack or put a bad foot first. At Least it wasn’t a tiger mom; they didn’t get paid to go through that kinda hell.

“I’m confused, that works for both of them.” the other laughed. 

“Sadly” 

“Anywho I’m gonna be pop by for a week. Liquor?”


End file.
